Following a divorce or breakup of a relationship where the parties share one or more children, one party may wish to relocate to another town, another county, another state, or even another country. Relocation can be tricky to navigate when there are children involved. It generally will require that the access schedule the parents had previously agreed upon, or which a court had ordered, be modified.
TAKE CAUTION
All too often we have been consulted by people who have already taken significant steps towards a relocation without having advised, consulted with, or come to an agreement with the other parent. We have had people quit good jobs, take new jobs in other states, and come to us when they are already in contract to sell their existing homes and even in contract to purchase a new home.
Typically, the other parent is very angry when presented with such a situation, and a judge will look very poorly upon a parent who has taken such steps without the other parent being aware or having agreed to the move. Even if they have agreed, it is imperative that you consult with a lawyer before taking any further steps. We have often seen situations where the parties dispute that an agreement had been reached and as a result, significant legal fees are incurred that might otherwise have been avoided.
Relocation Hearing
If you are the custodial parent seeking relocation, you and your former spouse cannot reach a written and legally binding agreement about the move, and the move you are contemplating is not expressly permitted under the agreement you have with the other parent, you may need to petition a court and have a judge decide if you are permitted to move with the children.
Under appropriate circumstances, if you are both willing, mediation can be a better route to try to resolve the issues before going to court. A court will examine the party’s reasons for seeking the move, how it will impact the other parent’s access to and relationship with the children, and how it will affect the child's overall best interests. While there are typically no restrictions on a non-custodial parent’s ability to relocate, if it will impact your ability to abide by the existing access schedule, and you cannot agree with the other parent on a new schedule, you too may need to go through the above steps.
Present a Clear Parenting Plan
Whether you go to court, mediation, or try to resolve this issue directly with the other parent, it can be helpful to be able to detail why a move is in your child’s best interests and also present a workable parenting plan for the other parent that preserves the child’s relationship with the other parent. A move will impact your child’s relationship with the other parent. Devise and present a careful plan to show that you are committed to maintaining a close relationship between your children and the other parent. Consider the following factors:
- Longer summer and school vacation visits.
- Increased and regular contact through technology (video calls, texts, emails).
- Information sharing – be clear that you will keep the other parent up to date about school, activities, and doctor appointments.
If the non-custodial parent opposes the relocation, be prepared for any counterarguments he or she may try to make against your claim.
Opposing Relocation
If you are the non-custodial parent who is opposing a relocation, you must present valid arguments as to why the alleged positive changes the custodial parent asserts are offset by the damage the move will do to your child by reducing the role you would otherwise have played in their life.
Helping Your Child Cope
Moving after divorce can cause disruption and feelings of stress for the children involved. Ideally, you can be patient, reassuring, and willing to listen in order to minimize the tensions your children feel.
Some tips include:
- Making your new residence feel like home.
- Giving your child time to adjust.
- Watching out for red flags - keep an eye out for emotional problems such as frequent/angry outbursts and disinterest in previously enjoyed activities. If you see any warning signs, discuss them with your ex and consult a child therapist for guidance.
