Dos and Don’ts of Getting Divorced
When going through divorce, tensions often run high and couples can make poor decisions in the heat of
the moment. Let’s take a closer look at the do’s and don’ts of getting a divorce in order to minimize the
stress and conflict that accompanies the process.
1. Do hire an experienced divorce attorney.
Whether or not your spouse has hired his or her own divorce attorney, it is important to hire your
own. You want your interests represented fairly.
2. Do focus on your health & wellbeing.
Divorce should not take control over your whole life. It is important that you take this time to build a
strong support system and surround yourself with friends and family. Focus on the positives of
creating a happier future.
3. Do evaluate your assets and become aware of your financial situation.
It is important to do everything you can to get your financial affairs in order. Make a list of your
assets and debts. You will also need to financially prepare for legal fees and save in advance if
needed. Have all your documents ready; this includes any documents from tax returns, to bank
statements, to employment information.
4. Do be honest and upfront.
It is important to be reasonable, cooperative, and truthful. Everyone, including your children, will
benefit the most from your ability to communicate in a calm and honest manner during the divorce
1. Don’t involve the children.
Children need a supportive environment to deal with divorce. Be there for them and be sure to give
them extra attention. This is the time to spend extra quality time with them. Don’t prevent them
from seeing the other parent.
2. Don’t increase your debt.
Divorce comes with expenses. Have your finances in order beforehand. On top of legal fees, you
may need the funds to set up a new household. Legal bills and court costs may be due before you
receive your first payment of spousal support or your share of marital property, if applicable. Be
prepared no matter what the case may be.
3. Don’t take extreme measures.
Don’t badmouth the other parent. Don’t prevent them from seeing or spending time with the
children unless you must do so for safety measures. Don’t allow a new relationship to become
involved in the divorce process. While your emotions may get the best of you it is important to
approach the divorce process rationally and calmly.
4. Don’t dismiss the possibility of a Collaborative Divorce or Mediation
In a collaborative divorce you have the help of attorneys, divorce coaches, therapists and
financial advisors. This process will help manage the stress associated with a traditional divorce.
Collaborative divorce is often more cooperative and less adversarial than traditional divorce.
In mediation, a divorce mediator will help you and your spouse reach an agreement. A mediator
will help both you and your spouse reach a mutually satisfactory result. You can also choose to
hire a consulting lawyer to advise you throughout the mediation process to ensure you are
getting the best possible results.
If you or someone you know is considering divorce, learn more about our team of experienced attorneys
at Joseph Law Group, P.C. or call us to book a consultation. 516-542-2000.
Our very own Jacqueline Caputo, who is also a NYACP Board member, recently gave a presentation to the AFCC. Great job Jackie!
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